radioactives
by mystiques
Summary: under editing.


**an:** for the twelve days of christmas challenge at coppertone wars, level five. "write **one **story about a pairing you've never written about before." so i've actually never really written something for harry potter in a long, long time, but i felt like making a reappearance as a better writer and writing for **romione**.

wait! before we do so, i need to add to this an and point out some details i've tweaked from the original series. ready? okay. so when they were looking for the horcruxes, ron never came back. but they ended up defeating voldemort anyway, and ron is shunned bc he left his two friends alone. but harry, being who he is (and being ron's best friend) forgives him. but hermione? oh, no, no, no—all the treatment ron has given her in the past 6 years are going _back_ to him. who says karma ain't a b*tch, weasley? ;) but i promise a happy ending. or, a somewhat happy ending. okay, now to the real story. :D

* * *

After the war, Ron truly realizes Hermione and her worth. She used to be just that bushy-haired brunette who had bossed him around, and had hung around, as if she was a crazy stalker, but not that much of a stalker. Hermione just used to be that girl he could go to for answers for homework, and he never actually saw Hermione as a friend, and as an ally, and most importantly, as the lover of his life.

In fact, she was more of an object he had used, and taken advantage of. He wakes up to all of this one day, realizing the horrors he has inflicted upon Hermione. He tears at his hair, angry at himself, as he had thrown away his _best_ assistant of all time. But the one thing he doesn't do is try to apologize, or to even just _try_ to make things better with Hermione. Looks like some people never do change, do they?

**— **

Hermione twists and turns as she sleeps, dreaming of her mother and her father. Where are they? Are they safe and unharmed? But not only does she dream of her parents, her mind is intent on bringing Ron Weasley in. That insufferable brat, who doesn't realize how strong love can be and the sacrifices one makes for a dream to come true.

He freaking left her and Harry alone in the wild, with nothing but what they had. In fact, he even took half the food with him! "For me to survive," he had winked as he took the food away. Couldn't Ron open his eyes for once and see what is going on in the world? Can't he stop being so oblivious to the world, acting as if he is the center of it all? Why? Why does he have to make life so hard?

Hermione cries in her sleep, and she doesn't know if this is theoretically possible. In fact, she's _done_ with theories. They don't work anymore, and they just flat-out _suck_. She _hates_ how they always make everything seem like a happy ending. But it's not true. Hermione realizes that all she wants is to be happy again—and for Ron to apologize—and for things to go back to the way they were in first year, when everyone was friends in Gryffindor house and everything was peaceful and calm, without this much pain and suffering.

—

Ron tries. Or, he does what he calls trying. He attempts to share food with Hermione at Christmas, and he tries to talk to her and make light conversation. What he doesn't realize, though, is that Hermione doesn't want those things. Hermione wants an apology, and she wants her love to be expressed back at her. She wants Ron to know how she feels in this hell of a world she's living in.

She wants him to feel the pain she's going through, and it's time for him to realize that his little happy bubble isn't the only existing thing in life. She wants him to understand that there are _more_ emotions that just happy and sad. There's peaceful, jealous, heartbroken, angry, upset, and so many more that even Hermione herself hasn't experienced yet.

—

And one day, Ron, after getting this treatment (of Hermione ignoring him, of course) for a month or so, he cracks. He breaks, and he cries. Who says a grown man can't cry? Ron can't help it. He doesn't understand, and he does not have any idea what he did wrong. So he confronts Hermione one day after lunch, and he grabs onto her robe so that she can't get away like the many times before.

"What is wrong with you? What is your problem?" Ron growls. "I'm _sick_ of this."

Hermione simply sighs, shaking her head. "You don't get it, Ron. Want to know what the problem is?" Hermione points to Ron's heart. "That's the problem. You've never loved me quite enough. That's the problem, Ron! Don't you get it? All I've ever given you is love and kindness, but what do you give in return? _Nothing_. That's right. Nothing."

Ron opens his mouth, shocked, "I—"

"I'm _done_ with you!" Hermione shouts. "Stay away from me. And I mean it. I'm tired of your tricks, and the little ignorant world you live in. I'm sick of this. Consider us done!" She turns around and stomps up the stairs, but turns around once she's climbed only a few steps. "And don't think of trying to get me back. It won't work. Nothing will, after what you did."

"But what did I do?" Ron calls after her. "I don't know what I did wrong! Tell me!"

But all he gets is silence. And along with that, a little bit of his soul and contentment dies along with his heart. Perhaps, they are over, after all. Ever since the beginning.

And Ron could have sworn that he heard a small sniffle from above.

—

When she dies, it's a shock to Ron. Sure, she had dissed her a few years before, and had never spoken to Ron directly ever after that, but deep inside, he had feelings for her. And he wondered if she did too, before she died. No one ever told Ron how Hermione had died, but Ron isn't intent on finding out. Knowing that she is dead is already too much for him.

He's already dead, deep within, but this is too much for him. Standing among the crowd at her funeral, he can't help but wonder how he got invited in the first place. After all, didn't Hermione tell him that they were over, and that he should stay away? Ron ruffles his pristine suit and tie (hand-me-down from George), he sighs as he realizes that Hermione probably wouldn't want him there, as he would spoil the whole mood.

Ron's head is down as he shuffles away, his heart breaking into a million pieces, spreading far and wide, unable to be mended together ever again.

—

Just as Ron is about to leave the building, Luna Lovegood catches up to him, a small smile on her face. "Ron, please stay. Hermione wanted you to be here. She said so on her last will, which she wrote before she took her life. Because her loved one didn't try to keep her."

Ron simply blinks. "Oh, really, now?" He raises an eyebrow, unable to believe it. "I'm sorry, but I don't get it." He shakes his head, and places a hand on Luna's shoulder. "Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I really must go."

As Ron hurries away, Luna looks off at his retreating figure, and calls out, "Don't forget her!"

"Like I ever will." Ron thinks bitterly.

—

Ron thinks over his choices. He could forget his past and start all over, mourn Hermione until someone better than her shows up him her life, or he could try to be with her and make amends. He realizes that none of those choices would end up in a happy ending for him, or anyone else, in that matter.

Laughing bitterly, Ron realizes that he isn't really loved in his life. Hermione had been the one to bring the life out of him—the one who could make him laugh and be truly happy. No one truly cares for him. There's nothing to lose—he has no siblings who love him enough to live with him, nor any friends who are interested in hanging (for Harry, unfortunately, had moved far away and they had lost touch)

Ron, without thinking it out, does exactly what Hermione did, but perhaps in a different way. He takes a few pills, like some desperate Muggles who are in situations like him, and he looks at the star as he dies.

His last thought is whether or not he'd be remembered as a hero.

—

Perhaps what they say is true. Maybe they were destined to be together, but not in the exact way imagined.

* * *

**an:** okay, so i guess this was okay, and i just really had to write some angst after the fluff i wrote before and just—argh, i really hate my writing, but we see the bad within ourselves and the good within others, do we not?

please leave a review, as they are much appreciated! :)

however, though, rude reviews are not. the only reviews appreciated are ones that give concrit and tell me how to improve. not ones that say how everything _needs_ to be perfectly canon and how anything with au & ooc is _bad_. so unless you have real criticism - don't leave a review. period. because i've cried enough, and this story isn't changing a single bit.


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